Looking back…
Vindicated and weary from the scorned misfortune of the worlds imperishable temptation to conciliate and appease the masses. I have become irrevocably parsimonious and although with a heavy heart I have disguised my true inhibitions and taken a step backwards. When was it that the true meaning of life became so magnificently difficult? Truly there must be an explanation that helps identify and overcome the transition of change; and if there is not, I demand one. As if the world’s currency is indeed a falsified excuse to barter and trade our precious memories for a minimalistic chance at a domesticated existence. Dreams, and happiness should not be that of our own fabrication left to comfort our souls when the day is done. Instead they should be a statement of an admirable sense of self that has led us to this day, where, while we muddled through in amazement we know that in the end it was worth it.
It’s what I need…
Things that I’m afraid I have let slip from my fingertips somehow into the depths of the back of mind:
Music.
Workouts.
Being young.
Friends.
Days off.
Summer.
Fall.
Health.
Oh the possibilities…get it together self.
Light up…
So many things are said at the end of the day and for what? What purpose do they serve other than a closed-minded apology to ourselves for all the things we intended to do and didn’t. I runaway from failure, as it is my biggest fear, and yet I am falling so far behind because my optimistic self becomes overshadowed with the burden of excuses.
Redemption is a sick form of overcompensating the faith for a cause you have but long lost the desire to fight for. But just because something is lost does not mean that it cannot be found.
The surface issue is this:
We remember too fondly the idea of romance that we were taught to believe in as children. There is no princess in distress, and a prince willing to walk through fire to then save his one true love with a kiss. That’s just not reality. Instead romance is simply the magical feeling of subliminal nerves that overwhelm your heart and catch your voice to leave you speechless, that one person is conceivably capable to love and be loved in such an unimaginable way.
Therein lies the most impossible of all emotions, and also the most difficult feeling to posses for yourself. Love. Love yourself unconditionally, with every fiber of your being, and so many beautiful things will come into your life.
